Rinse the okra (bhindi) in water for a couple of times.
Dry the okra with a kitchen towel or spread them on a plate and let them dry on their own.
Make sure that there is no moisture or water droplets on the okra before you start chopping them.
Trim off the crown and tail of each okra. Chop the okra in 1 inch pieces. Keep aside the chopped okra.
Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a pan. Add the chopped okra and saute for at least 8 to 10 minutes on low heat till they change color and are cooked and softened.
Remove the sauteed bhindi and keep aside.
Puree the tomatoes and cashews to a smooth paste in a blender or chutney grinder without adding any water. Make a fine and smooth puree or paste not having any chunks of cashews or unground tomato seeds.
With a wired whisk, whip the yogurt till smooth in a bowl.
Making dahi bhindi
Heat up the same pan in which we sauteed the okra.
Add 1 tablespoon oil or ghee. Crackle the cumin seeds first.
Add the chopped onion and saute till the onions change color or become translucent stirring often.
Add the ginger-garlic paste and saute for a few seconds or till the raw aroma goes away.
Add the tomato-cashew paste and saute till oil starts to leave the sides of the mixture.
The onion-tomato-cashew masala paste has to be sauteed very well.
Keep on stirring often for uniform sauteing.
The whole masala should come together and you should be able to see the specks of oil or fat leaving the sides of the masala.
Add gram flour and saute for 1 to 2 minutes or more on low heat till the raw aroma of the gram flour goes away.
Then add coriander powder, red chili powder, garam masala powder and turmeric powder. Mix and saute again for a minute.
Switch off the heat and place the pan down. Add the whisked yogurt and water to the pan.
Stir well with a wired whisk and add the sauteed okra and salt.
Keep the pan on the fire and simmer the gravy till the mixture starts to thicken and you see the oil or ghee floating on top.
Add the crushed kasuri methi along with the cream and simmer for half a minute. Garnish with coriander leaves.
Serve dahi wali bhindi with some hot phulkas, naan or rotis. You can also have it with cumin rice or steamed basmati rice.